sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.