I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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