Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.