I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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