Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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