you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
