your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
