is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
