Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
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