hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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