Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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