i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
