I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
