office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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