im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
