U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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