Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
