These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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