Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize