no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
