Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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