i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
