I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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