they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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