i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
