yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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