it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
