thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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