If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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