Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
