please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
