the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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