Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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