Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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