So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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