yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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