At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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