You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
People in love make me want to vomit
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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