Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
