Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
