Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
