I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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