she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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