i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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