u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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