mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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