just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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