At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
