i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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