Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
