Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think people are normalizing furries
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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