OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
