i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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