like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
