I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
