wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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