You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
