You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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