I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
FUCK WHALES
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
