go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Randomize
