Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
