Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
