i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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