dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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